Recipe for: A Happy Marriage

From the Kitchen of:  Sheila Wolf
 Preparation time:  A lifetime
Serves:  Much happiness


Ingredients:

1.  Don't let things build up.  "Don't let the sun go down on your wrath."

2.  Have a regular date planned each week, especially when you have children.

3.  Have children.

4.  You will never realize how much your parents love you until you have children of your own.

5.  Neither of you should complain about the other to your own mother or father.  the problem can be fixed quickly, but a mother-in-law will remember always. : )

6.  Remember your in-laws loved their child for over 20 years before they met you.  Don't ever hold that against them.

7.  Remember, he looks at things through his own eyes - not yours!

8.  Develop a budget together.  debt can eat a marriage up. It's not worth it.  (Men have a God-given responsibility to provide and when they $$ is not there, they can get really tense!)

9.  DECIDE to stay married just like you decided to stay saved.  Divorce is not an option (even if they leave their dirty socks on the floor.)  If you decide to make your marriage work, guess what?  It will work.

10.  Be careful about the negative things you tell your husband.  You don't want bitterness to eat him up either.

11.  Pray together regularly.

A Little Steamroller Story

Once upon a time there was a steamroller that helped build dependable roads for the traffic of future generations to drive on.  The steam roller was heavy, strong, in good shape and capable of doing the job it was supposed to do:

To pack down the earth and fill dirt to make a foundation so the road wouldn't slip down the hill, or sink as the years go by.

To pack down a compact, sturdy, even under pavement of gravel so the topping could go on smoothly and last even under future heavy loads and the freezing and thawing of time.

To pack down, compact and smooth out the asphalt for a smooth easy ride.

But the steam roller chose top soil for the fill dirt and as he rolled over it, the top soil cried, "No! God meant for me to nourish the flowers,"  but the steam roller never heard him, "Dirt is dirt."  The dirt gave up trying ot do what the creator had meant for him.

He chose diamonds for the under-pavement.  "Wow, this will be good and last forever.  Nothing is stronger than this."  The diamonds wanted to be recognized for the beautiful glittering they produced, or even for their durability, but no, "that is what is expected of them - their job - why recognize something so insignificant as their glittering beauty when they will soon be covered over by the asphalt?'  So he continued on.

And then for the asphalt top.  As he starts his engine the steam roller says, "Hey, there is a marble monument that had stood nearby for many years.  Now that would make strong asphalt."  And before the statue could say, "I would like for you to notice what I am cut out to do,"  the steam roller ran over him, crushed him and forced him into the mold that seemed best to the steam roller.  Anything to reach the goal.  "Anyway, what use are statues?"

He never heard the cries of the soil, the diamonds or the statue.  He only saw the dependable road he had made.  He didn't see the crushed spirit of the top soil, the misplaced use of the diamonds strength or the importance of the statue.

Yes, he had accomplished his purpose.  But in doing so he had unknowingly hindered them from fulfilling their potential.  How much richer the world could have been.

How can I tell if I'm really in Love?

1. Of all the people in the world I would still choose you.
2. Has it boiled down to just one person?
3. Does he/she really respect you?
4. Does he/she respect my ideas?  (friends, home, goals, etc.)
5. Does he/she look up to me?  (If they do neither will be a dictator)
6. Do you both encourage the full development of the other?
7. Are they loyal the Church of Jesus Christ?
8. Are they on the same cultural and intellectual level as you?
9. Do you love the individual as a person or do you like merely the feeling you have about them?  (In love with love)
10. Are you attracted to the individual for what they are or for what you read into them?  (Idealizing)
11. Is the person attractive to you -- more than the physical?  Meek and quiet spirit, tenderness.  Beauty is only skin deep.  Ugly is to the bone. Beauty will eventually fade away.  Ugly holds her own 
12. Does the person wear well with you and your friends?
13. Are you attracted to what they can give or do for you?
14. Over what matters and how frequently do you have conflict?  Is the conflict open or suppressed?  Is it superficial?
15. Are you willing to make concession or do you always expect the other person to do the pleasing, agreeing, and adjusting?  (Do you love the other person for themselves?)
16. Do you have doubts about your love? (It may prove that you're not really in love.  This is not necessarily so, for many people have doubts, especially at first.  A certain amount of doubt is preset sometimes when love is developing and when a decision for marriage is being made.  But don't overlook warning signs.  When your spirit is in doubt, slow down and get wise counsel)
17. How do you weather a crisis together? (Have you met illness or death in one family or the other?  Has unemployment, maladjustment at home, separation, disappointments, or similar crisis tend to drive you apart or closer together?)
18. Do you feel that you want to love the other person or fight against it?  Is there conflict between your emotion and your intelligence?
19. Are you sufficient stimulus for each other when you are together, or do you require outside stimuli to prevent boredom? (Does it take more than each others company to have an enjoyable time?)
20. Do you love the person in calmer moments or do you seem to be only in love when your temperature, blood pressure, and heart is palpitating?!!?
21. In your mind, how does the individual fare with the competition to others?  Does he/she always come out first?
22. Are you mature enough to tell whether or not you're in love?  Are you relatively mature and emotionally stable?
23. What is the relationship between your enthusiasm and the presence and absence of the other person?
24. Do you feel that your relationship hangs on a very slender thread and could be easily broken?
25. Do you forgive, tolerate, accept, overlook, or resent faults and shortcomings/  (Love individual with faults and all or do
26. Have you seen the individual in enough different types of situations and observed enough facets of their personality to tell?  What is he/she like with his/her family?  What at work?  Home town setting, take their calling into consideration?
27. When you are with other men or women without his or her company, do you think more or less of them as to both frequency and intensity?
28. Do you like to be int he company of the other person?  "Oh no!  Not him again!"  Three times a day seven days a week you hope for reform?)
29. If they have told you in no uncertain terms that they are sure they love you and will love you forever, what does this certaintly play in making you feel your love for them?  Are you under some pressure test of love?  (You do this or else!)
30. When other praise or blame this individual too you should?  How much do you share experiences?  Can you see him or her fitting into your pattern for life?  How much do they seem to be a stabilizing force for your emotions?
31. How much do you think of their welfare?
32. Do you have a desire to escape an unhappy home, school, or work situation?